Personal Change
IT ALL COMES BACK

During a vacation at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland, I was sitting on the dock enjoying a fall afternoon when a speedboat rushed by, clearly exceeding the posted speed limit of five miles per hour. The boat's two-foot wake radiated across the lake. Long after the speedboat was gone, other boats slammed against the dock where they were moored. I didn't see any boats damaged, but the driver of the speedboat was oblivious to the damage he may have caused. Similarly, our actions and emotional outbursts ripple across the people around us. Why does today's world have so much pain, sadness, anger, hatred and conflict? What stops it from being love, peace, kindness, sharing and joy? When we take a close look, we realize it may be the things I do every day coupled with the things you do. Lack of cooperation, lack of empathy, lack of appreciation for other points of view - they all ripple back.

I'm a good person by most standards. I love my family, support charities, care about people, and obey the law. But some days I'm selfish; maybe I get angry now and then; and I brush people off when I'm busy. Unfortunately, when I'm angry with my wife, my daughters, my grandsons, my friends or colleagues, they feel it and may pass it along. I spoil paradise on earth with my anger, selfishness and arrogance even if they are infrequent and last only for a few minutes. Most people occasionally do things that aren't right, or fail to do what they know they should. Eventually, like the speedboat's wake on Deep Creek Lake, those actions come back. The chain-of-pain spreads like damaging waves on the lake, until the hurt returns to us multiplied by hurts that others initiate - the waves that they send unto the lake.

Any one of us can break the chain-of-pain at any time. Fortunately, acts of caring and empathy also ripple out and return magnified. The friend to whom we are kind and understanding is, in turn, kind and understanding to others. All it takes is a single thoughtful action to begin a chain-of-caring.

The chain propagates itself and everyone benefits. Let's help each other to break the chain-of-pain. I'll be kind when you are angry, and ask that you be kind when I'm angry. Our world will become a beautiful and peaceful lake if we ripple kindness when we receive anger, understanding when we feel frustration, and sharing when our first thought is selfishness. Let's start today.